Death. Life.

Death.
Early morning December 1, 2009. Providence Hospital, USA.
Mother and I are waiting with Grandpa. Everyone else has gone home.
No one should ever be alone when they die.
The days prior were spent with the family surrounding his hospital bed. Laughter fills the room as he tells stories of his childhood, fond memories of time spent on the farm with his children and grandchildren, the dreams he still has, and how he imagines things could have been different. Four generations together.
Love. Life.
Each of us having our own time with grandpa as well. Mine was spent either talking about my nursing school or horses (our mutual love). He tells me of his first memory of ever getting on a horse. Full gallop towards a windmill. He was thrown off. "Get back on that damn horse!" With minor injuries he did, and that was that.
We also spent time talking about memories of grandma, another mutual love of ours. Besides our newly (on his part) shared love for our Creator, she is the greatest of loves. Unforgettable. Always the perfect pitch. Always a whistle. Smelling to me of freshly made cakes, pies or cookies with a hint of expensive perfume. I know it wasn't expensive, but it smelled like it was to me. She was classy. A caregiver, compassionate, loving always unconditionally, gentle and kind, and ever faithful. I found peace in her presence. His eyes sparkle, excitement and enthusiasm in his voice as he talks about his love. My heart whistles a sweet tune. Billie Holiday. You go to my head.
Grandpa's skin gets paler and colder to the touch as the days pass by. His end and his beginning we all know is approaching. People flood in and out of the room visiting and saying their last goodbyes. Not just family, but dear friends. Love overwhelms us all.
His final days. Denial. I'm not ready.
His final hours. The monitors lull me into a quiet sleep. I wake every hour when the nurse comes into the room to take vitals. His breathing is slow. Slower. Its time to go grandpa. I lay beside his still body, holding his cold, strong hand. Mom is on the other side. We tell him its okay to go. Time drags by as we wait to hear one more breath. And another. And another.
Death. Just a body.
Life.
Early morning December 1st, 2010. Temeke Hospital, Tanzania.
Kujifungua. Enter war zone.
The smell cannot be described. It is impossible for me to explain. Its overwhelming. Blood, sweat, tears, and other bodily fluids. Enough said.
Women cry out to Allah. Many of the first time mothers believe that they are dying so they cry out to their god for help. We quickly enter in and pass the registration desk to the toilets where we change into our uniforms. We pray and try and prepare as much as one can emotionally for what the day will bring. I'd like to deliver a baby. A boy. In honour of my grandfather.
The first signs of a baby. Yells echo through the labour ward as my teammates call out my name. Adrenalin kicks in. I pull out the sterile gloves and race over to the delivering momma. Quickly I introduce myself and mutter a few words of encouragement, mainly to myself. I can do this. Lord help me! Gloves on and I get my hands in to support. "Sukuma! Sukuma mama!" The head is out and I check for a possible cord around the neck. No cord, so I wipe the infant's face with a clean khanga and wait for the shoulder's to rotate. I can feel my hands begin to shake. I say a prayer of blessing and ask that God breathe the breath of life. "Sukuma mama." The final push and I deliver the infant up onto the mama's chest, grab the bulb suction, suction his mouth and nostrils, and begin stimulating the baby to get him to use those lungs. Just a body. Finally! That scream! I will never forget.
Life.

I know I have said this before, but to be the first hands to touch life is an incredible honour.

Grandpa, not a day goes by in which you are not missed.
Baby Dale, today you turn 1! Happy Birthday! Thank you for the honour of letting me assist you into this world. I pray many blessings on you today and for the years to come!

Let the rain kiss you
Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops
Let the rain sing you a lullaby
The rain makes still pools on the sidewalk
The rain makes running pools in the gutter
The rain plays a little sleep song on our roof at night
And I love the rain.
-Langston Hughes

Rules of the Wild.

"I thought, if you are really going to live in Africa, you have to be able to look at it and say, this is the way of love, down this road: look at it hard; this is where it's going to lead you. I think you will know what I mean if I tell you love is worth nothing until it's tested by its own defeat. I felt I was being asked to love without being afraid of the consequences. I realized that love, even if it ends in defeat, gives you a kind of honor; but without love, you have no honor at all." -Rian Malan

Charminar #2

During our last visit to Charminar...


Fruit Stand Man.

Mother and Daughter.

Hello again Perth...

I have arrived safely back in Perth. I will be here for a week before returning home to the states. Over the course of the next couple of days I will post pictures and a recap of our time in India.
Prayer request... I am still in need of a flight from LA to Seattle for June 3rd. Please pray that the finances come through and I am able to book the flight home before I leave Perth. I will also be needing some extra financial support for the first week of being home as I adjust to life there, process through difficult events that have occurred over this past year, and look for a job. If you feel led to give in any way I have provided information below. Thank you.
Thank you to all of the amazing supporters who have given not just financially but also through prayer over the last 11 months. I honestly couldn't have done it without you. May the Lord richly bless you! I am honored to have been able to serve Him in such an amazing way. Your gifts have helped do an amazing work.
To the BAS ladies... you are all amazing and brilliant midwives. I have been blessed to have spent this last year with you. I couldn't have asked for a better team to have been a part of.

To donate financially you may send donations to:
Stanwood Foursquare Church
PO Box 183
Stanwood, WA 98292

Please include in the memo line of your check Rachel Hayes- BAS to ensure the funds are transferred to my account. Your donations are tax deductible!

Hyderabad Happiness...

I can't believe I am saying it, but I am pretty happy here now. With only two and a half weeks left, the happiness seems a little delayed and unfortunate. Beth and I met some new friends at church a couple of weeks ago and we have been spending time with them during our free afternoons or days off. They are from Nigeria. It seems that it is impossible for Beth or I to separate ourselves from African culture... we find it and try and drown ourselves in it wherever we go. Finding a bit of Africa in Hyderabad doesn't make sense, but we are sure thankful that it is here. I know that if it wasn't for meeting them, our time here would look a lot different. It would be very difficult to survive even just a couple of months in this place.

A day in Admissions

Numerous BPs taken
Cannulas inserted: 3
Blood taken: 1
Antibiotics administered via IV: 1
Mag. Sulfate administered via IV: 2
IM injection administered: 1
Kind of a slow day today, but it was fun.
A mother came into admissions this morning with a baby that had been delivered at home, but was still attached. The placenta was retained and after the baby was separated from mom she was given a few injections and prepped to be sent to have the placenta manually removed. I gave the little guy a baby hat and he looked pretty cute if I say so myself. What a way to enter the world!

Adoniah.

Today was kind of an off day for me. I was very busy assisting with three deliveries and doing one myself with a student nurse. I delivered three placentas and out of those two of them had retained fragments/membranes. I spent a lot of the late afternoon walking through the management of all deliveries and in the end just had to give it all to God. I did what I could and managed each case with confidence and to the best of my ability. It was just strange times in the labour ward.
Baby Adoniah was born today at 3:15pm and weighed 3.25kgs. I delivered him with a student nurse. It was her second delivery, so I did a hand over hand delivery while talking her through what was happening. It was actually a rather enjoyable experience working with her. She was very grateful for my assistance and the things that I taught her. His head came with the cord around the neck, so we clamped and cut the cord and then delivered the rest of his body. He didn't give a good cry and so we sent him for resuscitation and oxygen. He was able to cry later and was doing well when we left. The mom was one of the ones who had retained fragments which was rather frightening, but we were able to safely remove the fragments and clots with the doctors help.

Plow.

The question I have continually asked myself over the course of this last year is, how do you forgive someone who hasn’t asked for it or even understands the extent in which they have wronged you? I think of a particular situation in my life that this applies to and I am at a loss for what to do or how to think. The worse part is no one can really give me a good enough answer and when I seek an answer from God I feel as though God has turned His ear away and has grown tired of my supplication. I feel defeated.

I will be returning to the states in a little more than a month. Although the longing to see my family is great, the realities that I must face upon returning are sometimes too painful to bear when I start to think about it. The place I called home is no longer there. The only thing left is the distant memory of the heart of the man that once occupied the land and pumped it full of life. I will be returning to something entirely unfamiliar. Uncertain. Despite it all, I will plow forward.

“The Lord is the strength of his people; he is the saving refuge of his anointed. O save your people, and bless your heritage; be their shepherd and carry them forever.” Psalm 28:8-9

Easter.

Me and Bupe looking through the treasures from the Easter egg hunt at Indira Park.

Hosea

Born April 22nd at 2:55pm weighing 2.8kg.
Mum was 19 and knew how to scream. Her mum was there for the delivery to support her. Not typically allowed in the hospital here to have an attendant, but the doctors allowed it if it meant calming and quieting the screaming. She was able to hold her down, but not quiet her, so before the delivery I finally figured out a way to make the screaming stop. Before a contraction I put a wad of her clothing in her mouth and told her to bite down when it hurt. Worked like a charm. I did have to cut an episiotomy to get him out, but was able to suture her pretty quickly soon after he came. Baby Hosea made his appearance and when laid on mums tummy he gave a good cry.
The most precious moment that I have experienced at the hospital here would be before Hosea's mum started to push her mum was talking her through a contraction and tenderly kissed her on the curve between cheek and nose. I will never forget that moment.

Slumdog.

Get me into the villages, get me into the slums and I am content. Life is raw there. Nothing is hidden. I like to see things exposed. See things for what they really are. Beautiful.
Pictures from last Thursday. Health care teachings in the slums.

Nireekshana.

Today instead of going to the hospital those of us that were to be in ANC and Admissions went to an AIDS clinic here in Hyderabad. It was pretty incredible. The couple that started the clinic started it in their home because they couldn't find a place that would rent them space to have the clinic to treat people with HIV/AIDS. Once the number of patients that they were treating in their home reached 700, they decided that it was time to find a new location. Now, I think 7 years later, they have 5,000 patients that they are treating and counseling through the disease. All of their supplies mainly the medications they receive are from Operation Blessing, a ministry from the 700 Club and Pat Robertson ministries. They said that they have been in partner with Operation Blessing from the beginning. All of the care that the patients are given is free.
I was really encouraged today spending time with the staff and mainly just observing how they run things. The doctors genuinely care for their patients and take time to thoroughly explain the medications that the patients are prescribed and why they are taking them. After their consultation the doctors then pray with them. It was awesome to see the level of care and standard of care so high.
In the morning, Joy and I spent time in the Children's area playing with the kids, building houses and random objects out of Lego's and blocks, colouring, etc. It was pretty fun. One of the little girls really captured my heart. So cute and just the most adorable smile.
Thursday, we will be going back to do some teachings on hand washing and basic hygiene. It should be good. I am looking forward to it and being able to have some diversity in what we do throughout the week.
After last week in the labour room and different things that I experienced, being in the hospital a couple of days less this week will actually probably be pretty helpful and will give me the chance to maybe do some processing and divert my focus to something else for just the right amount of time. To work in the hospital requires a lot of emotional investment. At least for me. It is hard to separate myself from the patients that I care for. I get so involved. It is hard not to.

A view from my window...

Choose your own Adventure Day...

Today was Adventure Day. Instead of going to the hospital like we normally do every Friday we met in the morning and prayed together seeking ways of how we can bless the city of Hyderabad. We had a couple different ideas so some people stayed back and made no-bake cookies and then delivered them to the staff at the hospital, a few people went and had lunch with some beggars on the street, two people stayed and cleaned up around the compound where we live cleaning up the mound of trash at the end of our hall, and the rest of us went to Charminar which is the most famous mosque in Hyderabad that was built sometime in the 1500s. I was one of the four people that went to Charminar. We arrived in the early afternoon, Beth and I, in one bajaj and Rachel and Louise in another. A woman immediately approached us with a child strapped to her hip who was asking for money. After fighting for the 10 Rs change the driver tried to short me I handed it to the woman and child and we were on our way. We met up with Rach and Louise and decided to start by just walking around the mosque and praying out prayers individually as they came to us. We then went into the mosque paying 100 Rs each and started the climb up one of the pillars. It was pretty amazing. We got to the top and walked around to each side of the mosque and prayed out over the city in each direction. It is crazy how a city can look so different from all four sides, four distinct views. From every view you were faced with the harsh realization that there is a vast amount of poverty in this city and in this nation; poverty that you couldn’t escape even if you tried. So how do we fix it? You can’t give money to every beggar who approaches you, it’s impossible, would leave you broke and wouldn’t solve the greater problem. At some point people have to take it upon themselves and rise up out of the poverty in which they sit. Yes, I do believe that here in India the caste system plays a role into it all, but the will of man is greater than any caste that you are born into. Isn’t it? The sad part is that I think the issue of poverty won’t ever go away. So long as the “woe is me” spirit hangs over these people, it wont ever go away no matter how much money we throw at it.
Anyways, we decided to go back after looking through to the other side of the mosque and seeing that the sky was painted black and rolls of thunder were heard in the distance. Rach and Louise went back to the Catholic guest house we are staying at and Beth and I went to buy fruit for the team at the local fruit market that we viewed from atop the mosque. We hurried our way through the stands and got what we needed, all throughout being asked for money by women in rags of clothing with the occasional child on her hip. One of the last women who asked us was the same woman who we gave the 10 Rs to when getting out of the bajaj. Beth turned to her and said something along the lines of, “this is no way for you to raise your child! Give her a better future than the one you are making for her now and send her to school. This isn’t the kind of life she deserves.” I couldn’t have agreed more and I added a few comments of my own. Another woman had come up to us asking for money and food. After purchasing some grapes I handed the child in her arms a handful. The woman grabbed two of the grapes and handed them back to me and walked away. The men at the fruit stand started laughing and saying, “she only wants your money.” What can you do other than feel grieved for the woman and more so for the innocent child that is trapped in a world with a hopeless future?
We left Charminar and headed to the hospital to see a girl Beth had cared for during the week in admissions. She is a 15-year-old girl who was seeking an abortion. No doubt in my mind she was raped and most likely by a family member, perhaps her father. Anyways, we walked into the hospital and went to admissions to check the records to see if she had been transferred to another ward and on our way down the hall Beth spotted her lying on a bed at the end of the hall. We went to her and I saw her frail and fragile body, so skinny I couldn’t believe it. Her cheeks were sunken in, but when you looked into her eyes you saw the beauty of her heart shine outwards. I grabbed some fruit out of the bags we were carrying and asked her to eat a banana because she needs it and is too skinny, of course with a smile on my face showing her that I was being facetious. Her mother quickly was at her side and we exchanged smiles and quick greetings with one another. I could instantly see where the child got her beauty. We made small conversation with the girl after introducing ourselves and she told us that the operation was finished and she would be going home the next day. I asked her if it was painful and she said, “no it was only two months.” She did complain of pain in her back and later we prayed for her and asked for healing not just physically but emotionally as well. I asked her a few questions about her desires and dreams for the future and she told us that she wants to become an engineer. I can’t help but wonder though if she will ever be given the opportunity. Are there too many odds against her? I don’t know, but I hope and pray that someone sees the potential in her that I see and she is given the chance to run after her dreams and make a bright future for herself. We got her number so that maybe before leaving we can take her out and get ice cream and have her teach us how to play cricket (her favorite sport) with her friends.
After walking away from the hospital, I had to ask myself where is the justice in that? Where is God’s justice for what has been done to this little girl? The greatest grievance is in the fact that hundreds of thousands of young girls have been, are in, or will be in the same situation she is presently in. What is that?
That’s what I like to call bullshit.

Obadiah and terminated pregnancies...

Yesterday in labour a little girl was born at 20 wks. She was a terminated pregnancy and although the nurse and doctors pronounced her dead and unable to be revived she was indeed alive breathing and having a stable heart beat. Her pulse was 76bpm, but life was still present nonetheless. The pregnancy was terminated due to signs of pre-eclampsia, but I don't think that was the real reason. Anyways, when I arrived in the labour room yesterday morning I asked of her case and was informed of the situation. She had been prepped for termination in the labour room which is routine and then usually the women are taken to another ward and the rest of the procedure is carried out there. It wasn't until Rachel our staff started to firmly tell the sea of nursing students that were there with us to part and move out of the way that I knew what was happening. The baby had delivered on its own and the nursing students were just standing not really knowing what to do or how to respond. I left the woman I was monitoring and quickly followed after Rach to assist her. She tore the membranes open and baby Alice Mariah took her first breath. We instantly started praying over her and expressing how beautiful and perfect she was. She was created in the image of God. After she was separated from her mum, I took her to the baby room weighed her (450g) and then immediately put her under oxygen. The staff constantly were expressing to us why bother fighting for the life, because she wasn't going to survive anyways. We (Lindsay and I) expressed to the nursing students that no matter what they are taught one of the most important things to remember is to value life and to give the best care to each and every patient, even when others say its a waste of time or there is no use. One of the nurses came in and asked, "Is she dead? Why are you giving oxygen? She wont live." I responded, "Yes maybe so, but she is alive now." She turned out the door and was laughing. I heard her talking to the other nurses in the hall in Hindi and laughing. I got pretty furious and although I should have remained where I was I went out after her asking why she was laughing. A dying baby is nothing to laugh about and I thought they should try to remember why they got into the profession they are in in the first place. The nurse was shocked, probably because I was out of line and addressing someone who was of higher authority than me, but she quickly tried to cover her actions and apologized saying she wasn't laughing at us. Anyways, I returned and Lindsay and I continued to express that the baby was alive and needed to be transferred. About a half an hour later she was tranferred to NICU. She wasn't expected to live more than a couple hours, but Lindsay and I walked away from the situation satisfied with how we handled the situation. We did the best we could for her and gave her the love and care she deserved. It hopefully showed the staff of the hospital a higher standard of care that each and everyone of their patients deserves no matter what the prognosis. While caring for her and giving her oxygen she grasped my finger. It was so precious I had Lindsay take a picture of her little hand. We took footprints to remember her as well. They are so tiny, but so perfect.
Today, I did a delivery that was a case of IUD, but within the woman's chart was a signed consent form of pregnancy termination. The baby had supposedly died on the 11th and in order to induce labour the form had to be signed. Anyways, the baby came breech at 26 weeks with hydrocephalus. It was a hard delivery, but I got through it. I have an incredible team and the women on my school who were with me today in the labour room were incredibly supportive and encouraging. The head was difficult to deliver so two doctors had to assist me in the delivery. He finally came, but before he delivered I got the name Obadiah, which means God's worker. He weighed 1.25kgs and delivered at 11am. Precious in the site of Jesus. To be sensitive towards that infant and his family I did not take a photograph with him, but I did take footprints and hand prints from him so that I had something to remember him by. They are pretty beautiful.

Lindsay and Rachel

On April 11th, two beautiful girls were introduced to this world. The first, Lindsay was delivered by the DMO working in the labour ward with us that day at 12:22pm weighing 2.8kgs and the second, Rachel was delivered by myself at 12:35 weighing 2.5kgs. They were beautiful. They were transferred shortly after their birth to NICU due to some issues with both of their right legs. Lindsay seemed to have something resembling talipes and Rachel had a hyperextension of her leg. I made sure to pray acceptance of both the little girls by their families, because they truely are precious and deserve all the love of their parents.

Baby Catie LuLu and other happenings in Hyderabad...

Baby Catie was born on April 4, 2011 at 11:15am weighing 2.75kg. She is her mommy's first child. When the sex was revealed to the mom, she didn't seem very happy. Women want boys, or rather it is really their husbands that want the boys. After a little while though my excitement for Catie being born rubbed off on mom and she seemed happy to embrace her new role as mother.
This is a highly male driven society. Women are a caste of their own. It is highly infuriating to daily feel like an object, something to be had by men here. I don't care what people say about the people being beautiful, that is obvious they are very beautiful, but there is a great ugliness that lay in the eyes of the men that I pass by on the street who make me feel as if my skin is bare and naked before them. To be honest I am really tired of men staring at me. I have been living with it for the past 7 months and to think I need to live with it another month and a half makes me a little angry and also saddened, mainly because there is nothing that I can do to change the situation apart from turn my head and walk the other way. Ignoring it all doesn't make it ever go away, but it helps you get through the rest of the day.
I am just now starting to adjust to the fact that I have just under two more months left of this school. I am starting to grow tired and weary of community living and just want the comforts of my own room/apartment. I love the people on my school and enjoy sharing in this journey with them, but I would put money on the fact that they are probably feeling the exact same way and that is okay.
I have decided to make the most of my time in Hyderabad. Great idea, right? Well this weekend was a pretty good weekend. Friday night started the out well with pizza. Joy, Amy, Beth, Louise and I all went out in search of this supposed pizza joint that has free wireless. It turned out to be a really good place to go for pizza, but no wireless was to be found. Yesterday, several of us made our way to the mall in Banjara Hills and spent the day shopping and lusting after things we could never be able to buy in fear of how we would feel as soon as we walk out the building and are forced to look at the poverty that smacks us in the face. It is a strange contrast between the poor and the rich. It doesn't seem like there are any inbetweeners here. You are either rich or you are poor. Anyways, after the mall Bethany and I decided to go to Hard Rock Cafe Hyderabad. Amazing! I felt like I was back in the land of the free and home of the brave! We shared a pitcher of coca cola, a plate of nachos, a delicious 10 oz. beef burger and dessert all for about $25. It was awesome. We ended up staying in the restaraunt for at least a couple of hours talking and discussing our fears and also our hopes for the future. It was a really good time.
This morning Beth, Orlando and I went to church together in Banjara Hills. Amazing. Africans. That's right people there were Africans there. It made my heart skip a beat several times. After the service we were able to talk to a man from Nigeria and found out that there is a pretty good size community of Africans living here in the city. They come from places like Nigeria, Sudan, Chad, Camaroon and a couple other countries. It made me happy. A incredibly diverse congregation. People from India, Korea, France, Brazil, Canada, United States, Camaroon, Sudan, Nigeria, and I am sure many other countries. Great worship and a good spoken word Beth and I have decided to make it our home church here in Hyderabad. Exciting.
Well that's all for now. More to come.

The work has begun...

We started working in the Government Maternity Hospital this week and it is nothing less than overwhelming to be in a new environment surrounded by people who nod their heads no, all the while meaning yes. The confusion has set in. I thought that I would be able to adapt more quickly since I have been to India before, but sadly it is of no advantage.
The hospital is a culture in and of itself and adjusting to life in India is one thing, but adjusting to the hospital and life in India at the same time there just are not words to express what I think about that apart from... shit.
This week we are just trying to settle into the hospital and familiarize ourselves with where everything is located and getting to know the staff. Our main priority is building relationship and trust with the doctors so that we can start doing deliveries and practice the skills we have been already putting into practice the last 4+ months in Tanzania.
I am still just trying to process my time in Africa. The transition to one culture to an entirely different culture in such a short time is almost impossible to deal with emotionally.
God give me a heart to be here, because right now my heart is somewhere else.

Highlights of Africa

Looking back I have decided that there are three distinct highlights of my time in Africa.
1. Delivering my first baby. Baby Dale was born on December 1, 2010. There has been nothing like that feeling of touching that first baby and helping him into the world. You sense and experience firsthand the fragility of life. You see the breath of life as the infant takes its first gasp of air and you are in awe that you were a part of that moment. It is really a feeling that cannot be described in words, because none can really capture the beauty of the experience. Baby Dale is a miracle and an amazing gift not only to his family, but to me too. He was named in memory of my grandfather who died December 1, 2008.

2. Kenya. I was blessed to be able to go to Kenya for 4 days to do ministry and also to get visas for the Bangladesh team approved at the embassy in Nairobi. While Bek and Liz were at the Bangladesh embassy for the majority of the trip, Emily and I were able to do some teachings and ministry in several of the slums. The first day of ministry/teaching we were able to share about nutrition during pregnancy with about 25 women and then after that teaching we prayed for the women and then began a second teaching with the traditional birth attendants from the slum on Using Aseptic Technique during birth. It was a powerful experience. To be in a room with women who had years and years of experience in what may seem to you and I like impossible conditions for a woman to labour in was amazing. I literally felt like I was in a room full of legends. An amazing honour for both Emily and I. After the teachings Jannekah (our hostess while in Kenya) was explaining to one of the birth attendants and a local pastors about how I have a heart for Kenya and would one day like to end up there. The birth attendant responded by saying something along the lines of "why doesn't she just stay now?" In that moment I remember my heart felt as if it was going to leap out of my chest. Being in the slums and in Nairobi in general felt as if I really were home and as if I was meant to be there my whole life. To ever leave once arriving seemed as if I were to abandon my true love. I mentioned many times how I felt like Africa had become my home, but I didn't fully realize what that meant until I crossed the border from Tanzania into Kenyan land. I knew that is where my heart was. That is where my heart will always be.

3. Momma comes to Tanzania! My whole world changed when I found out that my mom was coming to Africa. I think it was in December when my mom called me and told me that she was definitely coming to Africa. At that point she hadn't even told my dad. There had been talk about her coming, but after communicating through email earlier with my school leader, she didn't feel that my schedule was going to allow for her to be there and be able to see me much. I don't know what changed her mind, but she just knew she had to come to get at least a small glimpse into what my life in Tanzania was like. I remember that when she had called to tell me it was a moment in outreach when I was seriously considering giving up. It was hard and our team was not in a good place, so with my mom coming it was really the only thing at the time (besides my commitment to what God had called me to) that was going to keep me in Tanzania. It was amazing. We worked it out where she could come during the second to last week while I was there, because my schedule wasn't as busy and we would be approaching debriefing week.
I went to the airport with Bethany to pick her up and even as she came out of the arrival doors I couldn't believe she was there in Africa... with me! We did a lot while she was there and I am sure both of us were exhausted at the end. The second day she was there she went to the hospital with me. That was pretty overwhelming and difficult for her I think. She saw two deliveries happening at the same time, she witnessed a delivery happen outside the labour ward in a bajaj that a couple of us ran to during our lunch break (definitely not an everyday occurrence), and the best part was she was able to love on some babies.
We then went on a safari in the Selous National Park. Amazing time. Although for me it was a little uncomfortable to be a tourist at the beginning. We stayed at a camp nearby the entry to the National park. The camp was right on the river and during the day we could hear and sometimes see hippos out lounging and playing in the water. It was pretty awesome. We went on a boating safari almost as soon as we arrived at camp where we saw hippos, crocodiles, monkeys and some really cool birds. The next day we went in the truck through the national park and saw all of the big animals, giraffes, zebras, wildebeest, more hippos, a large pride of lions, impalas, and a lot of other animals. The best part was seeing the elephants and two elephants with a newborn in the middle of them. The baby was 4 days old and was all trunk, tripping over itself. It was adorable. The third and final day we went on a walking safari early in the morning. Highlight of the whole trip was coming face to face with a wild African elephant on the path that we had just walked on moments earlier. We were maybe at most 30 feet from the elephant. It was the greatest!
Besides the safari, I was able to take my mom to Zanzibar for a couple of days. It was pretty magical. We stayed at Sea Cliff Zanzibar (look it up) and were two of maybe 16 guests in the whole complex. We spent the whole time lounging, relaxing and being fed amazing food that easily could have cost us hundreds of dollars in the states and it was all inclusive. Ah, take me back please.
Anyways, those were definitely my top three highlights of Africa. I hope you enjoyed. I have plenty of more highlights and pictures to share! As soon as I get home I will be more than happy and willing to show you all the pictures and tell of the stories behind them.

Namaste from India!

I arrived in India this last Monday at about mid-afternoon to this familiar land of spice, smells, beautiful fabrics and of course the pollution. It is still the same India as when I left it almost 7 years ago. Everything here in Hyderabad is very similar to all that I experienced in New Dehli and northern India. The food is sometimes just a little bit different... still good and spicy of course.
Leaving Tanzania was very difficult. As I have said in most all of my past postings before, Africa has become my home and because of that my heart is still there. The question that I have been asking myself constantly is how do you move forward when your heart has been left behind? I love India and I know that what God placed in my heart 7 years ago is still somewhere in there, but my biggest fear is that I will invest again so much into this place and the people that I will be just as devastated to leave India as I am to have left East Africa.
I was talking with Beth today about my feelings of being back here and decided that it is like seeing an old boyfriend who still wants me back and wants me to love him just as much as I had before, but I have moved on and my heart has been given to someone else. That is how I feel here. It is strange and uncomfortable to be honest. I know that there is a lot for me here and a lot that God wants to show me here in the next two months, but I can't help to think about Africa and when I can get back. I need to focus on this time that I have here so that I don't miss what God wants to teach me, so please pray that God can steady my heart.
I am working on a recap of my time in Tanzania for you all. I have been processing the last 6 months and will post my thoughts and highlights for you within the next week. I will include pictures of the babies delivered, my Tanzanian family and friends, and also my mom's time here when she came to visit at the beginning of the month.
This week, Sarah and Rachel our staff have been working on getting permission for us to work in the hospital here and they think that we will be able to get a tour of the hospital on Monday and then begin our work on Tuesday. Our days will be longer in the hospital here than they were at Temeke, so I ask that you would pray that we would have the strength and the perseverance to make it through each day and the next 2 months with the heavier schedule. It will be great though to have more hospital time. It means more training time and hopefully opportunity to deliver lots of babies!
Working in the labour ward is where it is at! I feel like delivering babies is my new addiction. It is almost like a drug! Powerful stuff happens during the first moments of birth! Seeing the breath of life coming into a little person is incredible. And when there is a baby that needs extra help, that is when I cling hard to the power of prayer and am able to witness even more miracles. My name is Rachel and I am an addict.
Thank you for all of your prayers. Many blessings to you all!

It's just a little thunder...

Wednesday was a big day. I did two deliveries at Temeke. The first was a little girl born at 10:17am weighing 2.7kg. I named her Rachel Joy. She was beautiful just like her mommy. There were signs of fetal distress so Joy (my partner for the day) and I began to pray over the mom and the baby. Prayer is powerful and much needed in the hospital when we are there. So far since being in Tanzania I have delivered two babies to moms who have had FGM. This mom was to the greatest degree i have seen yet. All external genitalia was absent. It made her delivery difficult as she wasn't able to naturally stretch the way she should have and as a result had some pretty bad tearing, but she was a trooper and got through it all most of the time with a smile. She was amazing. Such a light.

The next little one came at 12:45pm. A little boy weighing 2.25kg and just perfect. The delivery went well with no major complications, birth trauma or fetal distress. This mom too was so incredible. Both mom's were so much fun to work with on Wednesday. As soon as she was done being sutured she was ready to leave. Our staff Rachel told me that they saw her later as we were leaving buying a soda across the street from the hospital! Insane! Anyways, I was able to transfer both mom's and babies to postnatal and they ended up being on postnatal beds right next to each other. When I went in later to check on both moms they were laughing and admiring their babies together. It was pretty awesome! I will most likely visit both of them before leaving the country on March 20th.

Wednesday night we had Joel and Stella over for the late afternoon and evening for dinner. They are two friends from Mwandege and it was nice being able to spend time with both of them. More so Stella, because we rarely see her now that we are living in a different location. Joel we have seen almost every weekend since leaving the base. Anyways about 40 minutes or so after they left we heard what sounded like thunder. I thought it was fireworks in celebration of Muhammed's birthday. Jen came into our room thinking it was thunder and was scared. I just reassured her by saying, "don't worry it's just a little thunder." Shortly after saying that to her, Joel called us in a panic asking if we were okay. I said yes and then our phones cut out. He called again and said that there were bombs going off in the city around us. What?! He then advised us to turn off our cell phones and lights thinking that it could be an attack. I handed the phone to Beth and ran down the hall to start knocking on doors and telling them to do just as he said. Orlando ran outside and then quickly came running back ushering us to come quickly outside to see the explosions. We all got outside and brothers from the Friary came over to us telling us what they had heard on the radio of what was happening. An armoury near the airport which is about 10km away from where we are caught fire and bombs and ammunition within the compound were exploding. We were advised to stay outside our house in the event that any of the bombs or debris came our way we would be able to have a better chance of getting out of the way. We waited what seemed like at least an hour before we were told it was safe to get back inside. Our biggest concern was for the safety of the people that we know and being unsure of where they were and unable to get hold of them. By morning we were able to hear from everyone that we knew in the area and heard of their safety which was a relief. Anyways, long story short we are all safe. BBC Africa has a report of the accident if you want to know more.

We still decided to go to Temeke yesterday despite the risk of being surrounded by chaos at the hospital. We went not having any idea of what to expect, but once we got there into the labour ward all was calm (well for women labouring). Thursday seemed just like another typical day in the labour room. All of us apart from one delivered a baby today. I delivered another baby boy. Aaron, weighing 2.4kg and just perfect. After delivery I was waiting for the placenta to show signs of separation. I was getting concerned about her and the risk of her having a retained placenta, but finally after about 25 minutes the placenta delivered and she was fine.

Today I went to Temeke Hospital for what I think is my last time in the labour ward. It was a really busy day, but it was a really good day. All of us had a delivery and a couple of us I think did two. We made it to a BAS milestone today... 3,000 babies delivered since the founding of the BAS. Actually, 3,001 at the end of the day today. It was the first time that I have done a delivery for a mom who is HIV positive. I was monitoring a mom all morning and at about 1:30 Bek called for someone to do a delivery. I was sure that the woman I was watching wasn't going to deliver anytime soon, so I went ahead and went to go do the delivery. The baby came within 15 minutes and she was a beautiful little girl. She weighed 3.0kg and Celia and I named her Elena. Anyways, when I was filling out her paperwork that is when I discovered that she was HIV positive. No worries though. Universal precautions were taken all throughout the delivery and after as well. Anyways, she was such a beautiful woman and after this week I have decided that this was by far my favorite week in the labour room. Every woman that I was taking care of was amazing. They were all so happy and were a joy to take care of throughout their labouring experience. I will post a picture of Elena tomorrow and you will be taken by her beauty just like I was today!

Of course I will continue posting more updates and photos throughout the next couple of weeks and before leaving Tanzania I will post some pictures summarizing my time here.

Thank you yet again for all of your prayers and support. I am beyond grateful for all that you have made sacrifices for me to be here serving the kingdom of God.

A piece of home is coming to me...

Three weeks until my mom comes to Tanzania to see me and I couldn't be more excited! I honestly don't know if I would have made it this long in the school if I didn't have the guarantee of her coming. I am becoming weary. Emotionally, physically and even spiritually I am starting to weaken and I am in need of prayer. My time with my mom will be a time of much needed processing and rest. We are planning on going on a safari and spending a couple of days in Zanzibar which I am really looking forward to! Of course I plan on showing her around the hospital where I work, the clinic, and places that I have been over the course of the last 5 months. The countdown has begun!

We have only another month here in Tanzania and then we are off to India or Bangladesh for two more months. I am looking forward to being back in India, a country that is close to my heart, but will be sad to leave this land. A land that I would love to one day call home. More than that is the people that I am leaving behind. I have made amazing friends here in Mwandege and in the hospital and to part from them will be something that I know will be very difficult. One man in particular I am not looking forward to saying goodbye to. It will be hard, but I have the hope that I will return soon and see all of these people again.

Last week I was in ICU and made a new friend. She was a patient who had been there since the 1st of February. She was referred to Temeke from her local clinic because she had profuse bleeding. She was 7 1/2 months pregnant at the time and the doctors diagnosed her as having abruptio placentae. She was transferred to ICU and labour was induced. From the time she was referred to Temeke to the time she was transferred to ICU she had lost more than 1000mls of blood. She ended up having 4 units of blood transfused, three of which after delivery. Insane! She delivered a stillborn girl weighing 1.8kg. The mama spoke very good english so I was able to communicate pretty well with her and ended up being able to set up a time to visit with her this week to make sure she is still doing okay. Please pray for her. This was her and her husband's first baby. She still has severe anaemia as well so pray for a healing as well.

Our schedule is pretty crazy and I haven't been dedicated in giving you updates like I should and for that I am very sorry. I will send an email update to my supporters in the next couple of days with a few attached pictures as well. I will also post more pictures on my blog either mid-week, at the end of the week, or both if I can.

Many blessings and Happy Valentine's Day too!

For they are fearfully and wonderfully made...

So far, I have delivered 6 babies at Temeke hospital. I have loved every moment of working in the labour ward. That is where I feel most at home here. Being with the woman as support while labouring is an amazing honour. I feel blessed to be a part of each one of these women and new babies lives. There is an indescribable feeling that I have with each delivery. What a gift to be the first to touch these little lives!

Starting with the most recent deliveries.

This is baby Isaiah. He was born 1/21/2011 at 10:46am weighing 3.5kg. When we arrived that morning, no one knew how the mama had arrived in the labour ward and her information couldn't be found. I did a VE and found that she was fully effaced and dilated. Next thing I knew the baby's head was crowning and I frantically started putting my gloves on, but the baby was coming so quickly that Rachel V had to put her hand in there to support the head. Isaiah was born with a nucal hand and the cord wrapped around his torso. 20 minutes after giving oxytocin the placenta was not delivering. We gave her another 10iu, but still no placenta. It was obvious that the only option was to remove it manually. We didn't have any long gloves for the removal so the nurse made a make-shift long glove out of 2 gloves and removed the placenta. During her delivery mama lost a lot of blood. She had definite signs of PPH. I continued monitoring her throughout the rest of the day and made sure she was drinking a lot of fluids. Due to the lack of supplies at the hospital we were unable to get an IV drip into her which would have been a more effective way of managing her PPH. By the time that I left she seemed to be doing a lot better. I made sure that one of the more trusted nurses kept an eye on her and continued to monitor her while I was gone.

Below: Baby Jacob. Born 1/19/2011 at 11:07am weighing 3.2kg. There were signs of fetal distress with him, so we prayed for a quick delivery. After his birth, he had a slight temperature so I continued to monitor him and his mama and by the time that we left for the day he seemed to be doing a lot better.

Hannah Grace! Born 1/18/2011 at 11:19am weighing 3.4kg. As she was making her way into the world I noticed that her little hand was nestled next to her face. I was able to hold her hand tightly to her face to prevent any tearing and also slip the cord that was wrapped around her neck over her shoulder nicely. Bek and I did the delivery together which was really exciting.
Beth and I were able to assist in a C/S together. I think it was the first day we worked together in the hospital since we have been in Tanzania. We named the baby girl Esther Faith. I call her the cabbage patch doll. She was a chunk! Adorable!
Gauis named after Gaius whom John addresses in the book of 3 John. Testified of his faithfulness to the truth. I felt this little one would grow to be a man who walks in truth. Born 3/12/2010 at 12:03pm weighing 3.4kg.
Little Emma. Born 2/12/2010. She was precious with her little ear flapped hat. Born at 11:25am weighing 2.7kg.
This is me with Mama and baby Dale. Named in memory of my grandfather, Dale was born 1/12/2010 at 10:39am. Wt. 2.75kg

Continue to pray for me and the team. Heartache continues as we experience trauma and tragedy on a weekly basis.

Malaria, Moving, and goodbye Mwandege...

Okay. So I know that it has been a good while since you all have heard something from me about what is happening here in Tanzania. For that I am sorry. This last month has been pretty crazy. Beth and I started out celebrating the New Year with a mass crowd of Tanzanians. We went to an overnight prayer and worship celebration at the Uhuru National Stadium with some of the people from the base. We were the only white people there! It was pretty incredible, but I have to admit that both of us couldn't make it through the entire night and fell asleep at different points during the night. Since then, as a team we have been taking a lot of time focusing on team unity. We have really enjoyed the new staff that arrived last month and I cannot believe the change in dynamics that they alone brought to our team. Bek, Sarah, Rachel and Menno are amazing. They are servant-hearted, gracious, and a lot of fun. I have really enjoyed Bek being here. She is pretty wonderful! She is from Seattle too and her sister Molly and I did our SBS (School of Biblical Studies) together in 2005. She has similar humor as her sister, so I am enjoying the jokes and laughter. Last week, I started to feel really tired and weak. I went to the clinic on base and it turns out I had malaria! Just a small little case. Nothing major. I was given some medication and was feeling back to normal within a couple of days. The worst part of having malaria though, was finding out the news that the team is moving to another location for the remainder of the time in Africa. Oh, and not that we are moving, but we are moving in the matter of 3 days! By the grace of God I was able to pack up my things and managed to get enough rest to recover from malaria. The decision to move was one that the staff took very seriously. Several of us had built very strong relationships with the staff and families on base as well as people in the village, so the idea of leaving was very painful and difficult for us. I was one of those people that had a hard time adjusting to the idea, rather the fact that we would be leaving people that I loved behind to move in order to accommodate for the external needs of the team. In the end, I did have a lot of peace about the decision and know that it was a necessary change made to help us move forward in positivity and unity. It is closer to the hospital that we work at, we have air conditioned rooms with our own bathroom, and personally I have one of the best roommates out there...Bethany. A big thank you to the staff for working so hard to find a beautiful place for us to live. So we are moved and settling in. We have had some opportunity to explore our surroundings. We are living in a Catholic Monastery and what seems like a mini walled city. This is what I have found so far, a dispensary, an orphanage, a nunnery, a somewhat cryptic cemetery, a church, and 3 canteens. It is pretty cool. I have more to explore though.
Today I delivered another baby! It's a girl! Hannah. She was born at 11:19am weighing 3.4kg and was perfect. At least I think so. It was a pretty smooth delivery. Her mum did great! Her name is Aisha and she is 16 years old. Hannah is her first baby and Aisha was able to take her time in pushing so there was only mild grazing. An answer to prayers. Bek assisted me. She was speaking praise to Jesus over the mum and the mum repeated the praise at different points of her delivery. It was really uplifting. Glory to God for a healthy mum and baby!
Ok that is all for now. Internet time has run out. I will be posting pictures for you all tomorrow! Many blessings!

Sorry just a quick hello. I am doing well and will post some pictures and updates tomorrow. We were in the process of moving last week to a new location for the remainder of outreach, so it has been pretty stressful to say the least. We have been pretty busy. I will be posting updates tomorrow after coming home from the hospital.
Much love.

Hello 2011!

Our new staff are here! Last week three new staff arrived from Perth to take the place of the staff who have been here with us for the last 3 months. It was a pretty smooth transition. With the new staff came a burst of energy and joy that has begun to revive us all. Thank you Jesus.
So we are into the new year. I am not one to make the 'new year's resolutions' that most everyone makes and then forget about come February, but I have decided that there are some commitments that I need to make to myself and to God for 2011. I am still working on that list of commitments, but the main one is that I desperately need to finish nursing school. Africa is calling me for good and the sooner I complete my studies the sooner I can come and be in a land I have come to call another home.
Work in the hospital has resumed. This week we have seen 10 deliveries in the hospital so far. Yesterday, I spent the day in the ANC and Postnatal ward and was partnered with Bethany. I love her by the way. Anyways, at one point I needed to take 5 women for ultra-sounds. Out of those 5 women, 3 had live single pregnancies, 1 had live twins, and one was 29 wks and had an IUFD. I took the women back to the ANC ward and the doctor reported the news of each ultra-sound to each of the women. My heart continues to break when I think of the look on the woman's face as she was told the news of her infant's death. After the experience though I had even more of a respect for that doctor. He took her hands into his, looked into her eyes and explained the situation. I have been struggling to get that look on her face out of my mind. It has almost been haunting. Her face turned from excitement to complete torment. Two others from my team and I were able to pray with her. I pray now that God shows himself more than ever to her and that she can see His heart even in the midst of personal tragedy.
You can't escape some things here like you can in the states. Death is almost unavoidable. When you work in a hospital like the ones here that have a lack of resources and supplies, it seems inevitable that you will encounter it everyday if not at least once a week. Processing death, especially infant death is difficult and seeing God in all of it is sometimes impossible. The fact is that no matter how impossible it seems, God is here. He is in the smiles of the women who hear their baby's first cry or lay their eyes on them for the first time. He is in the hands of skilled surgeons who make sure that they do their very best at keeping both mother and baby alive during risky cesarean sections. He is in the comforting embrace of a doctor who is giving the mother the news of the death of her infant. He is here. I just have to keep my eyes open.
Please pray life over Temeke hospital. Please pray for the doctors and nurses. PRAY FOR MORE SUPPLIES!!! They are in desperate need for even the most basic of supplies. Pray for blood. They are out of their supply.